Jason and Luke: An Outdoor Soirée at Summerfields Estate
For Jason and Luke, on their first date, they felt as though they had known each other for their entire lives. They were both raised in neighbouring suburbs and discovered on this first date that they had a lot in common, from very similar childhood experiences to knowing a lot of the same people. While talking about their first date, Jason says tells us “the first thing I noticed about Luke was his smile because it made me feel warm instantly. Every time Luke would smile or laugh I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach.”
Photographer Jess – Fern and Stone Photography | Venue Summerfields Estate
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How and when did you meet?
Well the real story is that we met on Grindr back in the early days of App dating when it wasn’t really kosher, so we told a lot of people that we were introduced to each other by Luke’s sister-in-law with, like Jase, worked in Childcare. Not true.
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
The first time we met was a coffee catch up at Degani café in Bundoora, the midway point between our houses. We grew up in neighbouring suburbs and the first time we met we spent the entire time unravelling all of these people and experiences we had in common. We knew a bunch of the same people and had very similar childhood experiences. We were both the youngest child of three kids, both chubby (food loving) children, both Mamma’s boys and both very bad at sport despite our Father’s best efforts to get us to pro-sport status. We spoke endlessly and effortlessly, and we felt like we’d known each other our entire lives. Fate.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Luke - The first thing I noticed about Jase was the bright blue Nike sweater he was wearing and his nose ring. And I noticed his amazing calf muscles, my gosh they’re good! I also noticed his big white teeth, he has very nice teeth.
Jason - The first thing I noticed about Luke was his smile because it made me feel warm instantly. Every time Luke would smile or laugh I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach.
Any standout moments in your relationship?
The day we got our baby girl, Molly, our Cavoodle. She’s brought so much love into our lives and completes our family…for now. Renovating a house together was a challenging but really rewarding period. We’re fortunate that our tastes in most things are pretty much the same, so it made furniture shopping much easier!
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
The only time we faced overt homophobia was during the Marriage Postal Survey period, we were walking Molly down the street and two cyclists rode past and shouted “for the record, we voted NO”. I think we’re quite fortunate to only have experienced such mild homophobia, but hey the jokes on them now, here we are filling in a questionnaire about OUR WEDDING.
Both growing up in big European families, we were both pretty nervous about the reaction we’d get when we came out, but we were both really supported and showered with love. Both of our Dads had a similar response, “I’m sad you didn’t feel comfortable enough to come and tell me earlier”. We’ve been lucky.
What does Marriage mean to you?
Marriage means people stop asking when we’re getting married and start asking when we’re having babies!
In all seriousness, marriage means a new level of connection and interwovenness of our relationship. It doesn’t make our relationship any better than couples who choose to not get married, but for us, it signifies an appreciation to all of the people before us who strived to achieve a day where two Men (or Women / or non Hetero-People) could marry. We get to have a bumbling sense of pride as we mention “My Husband…”, we get to experience the giddy feeling of connection that we, for a long time and particularly as young Queer kids, thought we’d never be able to feel.
Marriage is more than a wedding day, and we were conscious of that throughout the entire process. Some people get married to have the Wedding, but we wanted the Wedding to get married.
Who proposed and how?
Luke - I proposed to Jase. When we were first started dating, I asked Jase to ask me out. We were standing at the front of his parent’s house and he said I’ll ask you out if you ask me to marry you – we were both clearly in this for the long haul! So I stayed true to the agreement. We had both been asked constantly about going overseas and getting married in a country that had achieved marriage equality, before we achieved it here, and we were both really certain we didn’t want to do that. We wanted to wait for when we could stand on the soil of our homeland and be able to declare our love for each other in front of all of our family and friends. On the day of the Survey results I stood at the State Library in Melbourne and once they were read out I knew the time had come to finally propose. It was about 6 months of planning, because Jase is the organiser in our relationship it was extra pressure to get it right! I finally planned a weekend away to the Farmhouse at Meletos in the Yarra Valley. We went to lunch at Dominique Portet, a French inspired winery nearby, and as we were having lunch my friend was busy setting up the room for the proposal. Once lunch was finished we made our way up to the hotel and as Jase walked in the door he saw a bunch of letters positioned in front of him that read “MARRY ME GUSHI” (We have a nickname for each other – Gushi, which is Macedonian slang for “cuddle”). The room was filled with photos of our years together and candles to light up the room with rose petals all over the bed and floor. There was also a framed photo of Molly holding a sign saying “MARRY MY DADDY”. It was perfect.
When did you get married?
We got married on Saturday the 26th of October, 2019.
Jason and Luke’s story continues below ↓
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
The main influence was “joy”. We wanted to create a relaxed, fun vibe for our guests and most importantly for us. We didn’t want to be bound by tradition, a lot of our guests (including us) hadn’t been to a gay wedding before so we wanted to do things our way. We got rid of the cake and popped champagne, we didn’t have one of us waiting at the top of the aisle instead we both walked down together, we spent the entire morning and night before together – we did everything our way. We took inspiration from all of the weddings we’d ever been to, noted what we did or didn’t like, and made them work for us. Stylistically, we always wanted a marquee, so once we had found a venue that would allow us to install a marquee, Summerfields grounds became the big influence – from invites to floral arrangements, we rooted the colour scheme in greens, golds & blacks.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
The most important thing for us was that we and our guests had a great time. We wanted people to leave and say – that was GREAT! It was important that we both had a connection with all the guests who were invited. We didn’t want to be meeting people for the first time at our wedding. And that was feedback we had from so many guests, they felt love in the room, they felt like we had a connection to everyone in the room. Above all else, they felt love and that could not be a better compliment to receive.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
A lot of the inspiration came from our vision for what the perfect wedding to us would look like. We knew we wanted a marquee wedding because we loved the fairy lights. Our advice to couples planning their to wedding is to not over-research, that’s when it gets confusing and stressful. We found what we loved, picked it and moved on. I think it helps that we both have a pretty good eye for bringing things together (a gay man’s touch you might say), but we didn’t build Pinterest boards or get too carried away with IG inspiration because too many options is overwhelming!
How did you choose your suppliers?
It was pretty simple, no dickheads. No matter how good they are. We wanted to work with people who were incredible at what they did, but people who would add to our day. If you think you have to deal with a difficult supplier because they’re the best, keep looking, there are plenty of incredible suppliers around who are as good a person as they are at their craft. We wanted to meet with everyone before we booked them to ensure we had chemistry. And boy, did we get lucky! Also, hot tip, go with your gut, it someone is troublesome at the start, they’ll probably be like that for the entire process – don’t do it to yourself.
Any standout suppliers?
Because of the background work we’d done, we were so fortunate to have incredible suppliers. The standouts would have to be Annette & Dani our videographers (Annette (aka Burg) was also a teacher at my High School when I was there so she gets extra points), Jess our photographer and Melissa our Celebrant, just because we spent most of the wedding day with them and they are our kind of people – wicked sense of humours and love a laugh, and also incredible at what they do.
Did you find it difficult to translate more common traditions into a ‘same-sex’ wedding?
We didn’t go into the wedding thinking too much about tradition, more about what we wanted to do. People asked us throughout the entire process – who’s waiting at the top of the aisle? How does the wedding party work? Is someone wearing white? We didn’t listen to tradition, we wanted to do things that perhaps people could take and use for their own weddings, things like having our parents walk us to meet at the top of the aisle and then us walking down together. We wanted that to signify walking into our new lives as husbands. Tradition is just about doing things that have meaning, so we did things that had meaning to us.
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn’t go to plan?
We are both very detail oriented, so it was perfect that we got to watch the entire wedding day build around us as we were staying at the venue. In saying that, our advice to anyone getting married is let go and let the universe do its thing. You’re going to have an incredible day and if something doesn’t go to plan, it’s highly likely no one will notice because they don’t know what you had planned.
For most people it was a surprise that it didn’t rain because it was forecast but we had been very busy manifesting good weather – tip: manifestation is the real deal. We had beautiful sunshine for our wedding ceremony and got to have the outdoor ceremony we always wanted. Some things don’t go to plan, but I think it’s just about trying to solve what you can and remaining calm. Your day is about more than the details, it’s about you two.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
The invite list is always tough, whilst we could have easily had a wedding that was a couple of hundred people deep we wanted to ensure we could have it as intimate as possible, so we got to 154 – which, depending who you’re talking to, is a reasonable sized wedding.
Trying to ensure that all elements come together the way you want to is challenging but somehow everything falls in place – I think it goes back to working with good suppliers, they work around you to make everything happen. Spend time on your suppliers, you’ll be thankful in the lead up to your wedding and particularly on your wedding day.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Breathe. Enjoy. There are two people who your day is all about, remember that the entire time. People might try and complicate things or make your day about them, but it’s about you and your partner. Do what makes you happy. It’s lovely to get advice from people, but don’t let it confuse you. If you see something and you both love it, do it. If you don’t both love something, try and find out what the compromise is that you’re happy to settle with. Both of you are getting married, so both of you should be involved in planning the wedding, it makes it more of a journey for both of you. Don’t leave it all up to one partner. Breathe. Enjoy.
Suppliers
Photographer Jess – Fern and Stone Photography
Videographer Annette and Dani Films
Venue Summerfields Estate
Suits By Him
Flowers Hello Blossoms
Wedding Party Attire White Runway & By Him
Stationery Did this ourselves
Celebrant Melissa – Mine Forever
Furniture Table Top Towers
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